Thursday, January 21, 2010

Time to Learn a Little History

Last year, there was an epic confrontation. The details are, of course, a little hazy for all of us since some repressed the memories will others just now live on in a fantasy world where the battle never happened. I have skewered records and eye-witness accounts, faithfully searching for and details of the great struggle. In a story-like fashion, this is what I found. This is the story of a great battle between the noble and righteous Washington Capitals and the dastardly and vile Shittsburgh Penguins. The conflict, beginning on May 2, 2009, a Saturday, went on for 12 long, excruciating days. Most fought on through their injuries, while some succumbed. But most already know this, I have come to present the behind the scenes, unknown story that many are unaware of. With this story I have provided many accurate and thoroughly thought out images that seek to be the true representation of events. I hope they help with your understanding of this terrible tale. On the day before the beginning of this dreaded event the Capitals, via the great Alexander Ovechkin, were approached by Bettman.
God this is creepy.

Bettman yearned for all the hockey world to embrace the Penguins as the best and to hail Sidney Crosby as the greatest hockey player in the world. Ovechkin, actually being the greatest hockey player could not submit, regardless of what any former Cap might attest.

And it begins...

This will be scary. This will be funny. This will be lame. This will be cool. This will be pointless. This will be worthwhile.

Hey! You see what I am doing there? I'm playing to the name Facetious Sincerity! It's like an ox...oxy....oxymormon or something like that. I no good with big words and stuff. Eh, whatever.

At the moment I'm still trying to decide what exactly I will be talking about, hence the poll on the side. I'm also still attempting to design a new layout.
I will most likely start off talking about hockey, since the first meeting of the Caps and Shittsburgh is tonite. Maybe get a post up today previewing it or one tomorrow reacting to it along with some possible Photoshop goodness.

I will warn you now that I am somewhat of a history nut, mostly really ancient stuff and I tend to sometimes go off on elaborate allusions and metaphors that do not make sense. Just pretend that I am like Herodotus; about two lines of content and eight lines of hyperbole and extraneous information. So I will warn now, saying "WARNING: Author may go off and start discussing stuff that is not only really old but, as well, stuff that no one probably cares about!" Sorry, had to get that out of the way.

See ya in a little.